My husband and I have enjoyed Cesar Millan for years now. Phil told me this morning that after his pitbull – Daddy – died, Cesar attempted to kill himself.
What we believe about ourselves at any given time strongly influences our reactions to all of life’s events.
In the following excerpts from two articles, look for what Cesar believed about himself during difficult times.
Article 1.
“I took a whole bunch of pills,” he said. Millan, 43, explained that he was going through a terrible time in his life: His beloved pit bull Daddy had died, and days later, his wife of 16 years told him she wanted a divorce. He also discovered that neglecting his empire (which encompasses books, TV shows, and stage shows) had led to a real financial crisis. “It’s like, ‘Okay, I’m a failure. The reason why this has happened is because of me,” he said. Thankfully, his two teenage sons found him called paramedics. Since then, the TV star has put his life on turnaround. He’s repaired his relationship with his sons, who blamed the divorce on him, and is now working on his new series Cesar Millan’s Leader of the Pack.
Article 2.
One day, at his wife’s house, he swallowed a bottle of her Xanax and some other pills and got into bed, hoping to end his life. “I thought, If I do a combination, I can die quicker. So I just took all the pills I could find, poof”
“I had so much rage and sadness,” he continues. “I went to the other side of me, which is ‘_ _ _ _ it, I’m a failure.’” Millan woke up in the hospital psychiatric ward, where he remained under observation for 72 hours.
Did you catch what Cesar believed about himself during extremely difficult times?
In a combination of quotes from both articles, he said, “I had so much rage and sadness. I t’s like, Okay, The reason why this has happened is because of me . . . “
Great! So far so good. Cesar shares how he felt and then acknowledges, “I did it.”
That didn’t do him in! Adding to the problems that were already piled on his plate, he goes on to say, “I went to the other side of me, which is ‘_ _ _ _ it, I’m a failure.’”
“Therefore, because I did it, I am a failure.”
Cesar is not the only one who fell into the trap of believing that what he thought, said and did was who he is. Many people I’ve met over the years live in shame.
Guilt: I am guilty for doing that.
Shame: Because I did (thought/said) that, I am worthless, a failure, unloveable . . .
Shame attacks our identity; shame attacks who we are!
The Great I AM who obviously knows who he is (as evidenced by the name he gave himself), also knows who we are since he intricately, and with great detail, created each one of us. King David praised God for that. Job boldly said to the Lord: “Your hands shaped me and made me. Are you going to destroy me?”
The Great I AM forgives us; (He cancels our debt) for what we do, say and think. He praises us for who we are.
Live YOUR Design:
1. If you’ve internalized shame, what would be different if you believe what God says about you: You have great worth no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done. He has forgiven you. Forgive yourself, grieve your losses and move on with his encouragement?
2. Ask for help from a counselor or coach who can help you extricate yourself from those debilitating lies that you’ve internalized as truth.
