Living YOUR Design involves understanding that you are unique. You do not share the same identity – design – with others. Living your design means living out your relationship with this unique person: YOU.
“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” (Socrates)
When I’ve asked some of my friends and clients, “What kind of relationship do you have with yourself?” most often they are confused. They don’t know how to answer the question. Many have let me know that having a relationship with themselves has never crossed their minds. Because of that they have no idea that the kind of relationship they have with themselves impacts every area of their lives.
My story: Thirty-five years or so ago a thought popped into my head, “Invite Phil out for coffee and ask him how you can be a better wife and mother.” I remember thinking that was a weird thing to do since he often praised me – and still does after forty-one years of marriage – for being a great wife and mother.
This whole thing was my idea. I had the list in my mind’s eye of all the things I could do better to be a better wife. And I was excited! Whatever he wanted, I could change. “You’re too fat.” “You get too excited.” “You’re a crummy mother.” I could fix all that.
What he did say was unexpected, and it changed my life forever – “I want you to be a friend to yourself.”
I was shocked by his request. I was in agony. This was not on my list! It was not on my radar screen! In anger I said, “I don’t know how! And why do you care about that?”
“If you can’t be a friend to yourself, you can’t be a friend to me.”
For years before that event, I had been praying that the Lord would release me from intense self-hatred. My prayers were answered on that particular date-night. After the shock wore off, I told Phil, “With the help of God, I know how to be a friend to others. Maybe with his help I can be a friend to myself.”
A friendship with myself. How strange! And life-changing!
The kind of relationship you have with yourself will determine whether or not you will take the risk to even consider living out your unique design in areas where you have been hiding yourself – or maybe hiding from yourself. From my own experience and from the experiences that others have shared with me, the #1 reason we slowly poison ourselves by attempting to fit and often hammer our square selves into round holes is because we either don’t realize that a relationship with ourselves actually exists – or – we know that but consciously or unconsciously choose to neglect it.
For years I’ve been helping people to get to know, understand and value themselves. Once they perceive themselves for who they truly are – each a unique and magnificent masterpiece – they begin the journey of extricating themselves from places they’ve been hammered into. Together we assess and evaluate areas where they are trapped, their fears about making changes, and other relevant concerns that are shared with me. Then we discuss what will change.
- Those living within abusive relationships learn to self-advocate.
- Those who have been harmed by an abusive religious system discover a renewed spirituality and God, who IS Love.
- Those who have been tormented by addictions choose the path of recovery.
- Those who are experiencing unresolved grief begin to face the pain of their losses and begin to heal.
- Those who have been unable to manage their time effectively actually FIND time they didn’t know they had.
- Those who have been unable to decide whether or not it’s wise to make a career change are better equipped to make that choice.
- Those who have been burned out decide to cut back and feel better.
- Those who have attended family gatherings or other events because they feel obligated or fear rejection if they don’t, choose what events they want to attend.
- Those who have paid little attention to what their physical beings are trying to tell them, befriend their bodies and listen.
My clients learn to appreciate their unique design and live it within their home/faith community/workplace/ school.
I’m here to help!
How many people do you know who are hurting because they are hammering themselves – or allowing others to hammer them – into places they are not designed for? Are you one of them?
If so, contact me for a complimentary 1-hour phone interview to discover whether or not my unique design will compliment yours within a coaching relationship.