- a break up
- a death
- loss of employment; loss of financial security
- a diagnosis of a mental health or physical problem
- a rape
- facing the reality of having an addition
“A dark night of the soul is not extraordinary or rare. It is a natural part of life, and you can gain as much from it as you can from times of normalcy. If you give all your effort to getting rid of your dark night, you may not learn its lessons or go through the important changes it can make for you. I want to encourage you to enter the darkness . . . and perhaps find a new vision and a deeper sense of self. We are not out to solve the dark night, but to be enriched by it.” (Thomas Moore, Dark Night of the Soul)
I get it. My episodes with dark nights have made me question the very meaning of life. One experience with a dark night was when my world was turned upside down because I could do nothing to protect my daughter from experiencing the trauma of the death of her firstborn son. I had no power! I wanted to die each time I watched her feel his foot crossing over her belly; she knew he’d die soon after he was born. And when he was born, I wanted to die as I watched her absorb every part of his being so that his memory would be etched in her mind and not die with him. I had no power to take my daughter’s pain away.
For my daughter’s sake, I could not allow myself the luxury of giving up.
I entered the darkness.
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Like Moore, I encourage you to enter your darkness – baby step by baby step. I think you’ll discover as I have that even though I’d not want to travel that piece of my journey ever again, there is no such thing as total loss.
Those dark nights of the soul have the potential to deeply enrich our lives.
